new look, new week, new EJ

okay. well maybe not a NEW EJ. ( i refer to myself in the 3rd person way too much..)

i seriously have missed being a bloggie!

i don't know what i will do when i go on my other future travels

okay anywaaaaay

i woke up and was all for going to the gym BEFORE breakfast but i honeslty just cannot motivate myself to do that on lazy saturday & sunday mornings anymore

i would rather wake up take my time make my breakfast drink my coffee watch HGTV (yeah.. i know. ) digest and THEN go to the gym! but by then it's around 11 am and all the good classes are over with  :/ 

so then i have to workout by myself which i don't really like! well i do, but i really want to try like a zumba class or spinning. 

or YOLATES..

sounds kinda cool, no?

anywayyy breakfast was wayy too good to pass up

2 tortilla factory tortillas

which i heated up with cinnamon & a tbsp of pumpkin each

then i plopped on some peach preserves and a hunka lunka berries

melted a tsp of B'npb in the microo and drizzled that on top with some maple syrup

oh i forgot there were grapes too

then i had half a naner with 1 tbsp B'nPB and cinnamon

as if that werent enough...

i had about 1/2 cup pumpkin with berries heated up and delicious with cinnamon and syrup and the other half of the nanerrr!

(not yet pictures)

i got a lot of questions about my whipped peanut butter.

here's the deal

it's only made by PETER PAN! and its soooo good, and creamy! it's hard to find i honestly think they only sell them in the south because it's the only places i've ever been able to get them

when i go down to hilton head in the summer i loaddd up

and when i go to charleston i would go to piggly wiggly and scour the store for it...

anyway

it's kinda llike the cream cheese concept .. when you whip cream cheese ya know?

not as thick and creamy but airy and light and oh so delectable!

okay guys this may be a little long.. read if you like.. its alot about me and my journey....

today.. i got my mom back to the gym for the first time.. back in summer of 2007 my mom was chosen to be a weight loss contestant on the "Mike and Juliet Show".. after 4 kids and 4 c sections my mom needed that extra boost to get her figure back.. she was ALWAYS a size four before she had her kiddies!

yay kids.

anyway.. i really wanted to see my mom succeed so i became her gym buddy and partner, i figrued i would lose the extra weight i had too.. so thats when i started counting calories and really looking at everything i ate.. while my mom kept things in moderation i started restricting more and more .. i even started giving up our beloved diet buddy * ants on a log* raisins & pb on celery sticks and would vie for simply the log minus the pb. it was bad, i got bad and as soon as my mom actually lost her weight she decided to keep it going.. but then i got really sick

and she got really worried about me

i don't think she thought it was fair for her to continue losing weight when i needed to gain so she stopped going to the gym to be with me. literally she was the greatest and the most supportive mother.. i was put into the EDU inpatient at somerset medical in somerville, new jers & my mother made the hour trip .. every day. to be with me.

on sundays when visiting hours spanned 5 hours in the afternoon and another hour and a half after our dinner she would wait around the area for 2 hours to come back and see me.. she literally left my brothers & sister at home for that month i was in the hospital .. leaving them to themselves..

but then in october 2008 my brother passed away.. and my mom, my family, went through more then i thought we would ever have to. my brother was my role model i loved and love him very very much but my mom let herself go.. she gained more weight then she ever has in her life and that made her even more depressed.. now she cries over timothy and over herself, her health is in danger now too.. though we lost him, i don't want to lose her too. 

so today was the first day i could get my mom back to the gym with me..

it's bittersweet because she and i really haven't worked out together since me and ED were such good pals but its different now.. i'm there to support her and bring her up and hold her up when shes falling down, i'm there for her like she was there for me.. when she gave up her opportunity while i was away... i love my mom more then anyything she really is my hero.. 

pre-ED my sister molly, my best friend danielle, me, my mom. at my sweet 16 in may 2007

smack in the middle of ED in london April 2008

me and mom and molly

k

love

bye.

<3